We decided to have some fun with the Happy Meal concept and took it in a different direction. We imagined the worst possible Happy Meal toy you could have gotten, via a movie tie-in, ever. So sit back and imagine, if you will if the following Happy Meal toy lines existed and this was the worst figure in the lot.
10. KRULL - THE BEAST
The Toy: A big plastic head with on and off glowing eyes.
9. FRIDAY THE 13TH: THE FINAL CHAPTER - TOMMY JARVIS
The Toy: A toy for the tub, complete with Tommy in his rain coat.
8. ENEMY MINE – FYRINE IV HARD-SHELLED CREATURE
The Toy: Complete with a suction cup on its belly.
7. TRANSFORMERS THE MOVIE (1986) – DEAD OPTIMUS PRIME
The Toy: A gray Optimus Prime eraser. So eventually he would just turn to dust.
6. ROSEMARY’S BABY – MINNIE CASTEVET
The Toy: Minnie’s Happy Meal toy would emit the smell of Tanis Root.
5. BOXING HELENA - HELENA
The Toy: Helena would have limbs attached with magnets for easy on and off play.
4. MAD MAX BEYOND THUNDERDOME – MASTER BLASTER
The Toy: A tiny Master pops off the back of Blaster.
3. HELLRAISER –BEARDED MAN
The Toy: When you throw him in the fire his body melts away to reveal a demon. Obviously, this is a once and done thing.
2. BLADERUNNER - HANNIBAL CHEW
The Toy: Chew’s Happy Meal toy is a squeezable figure that has eyes which ooze blood when squeezed.
1. STAR TREK: THE MOTION PICTURE - ILIA
The Toy: A squeezable Ilia that says “Kirk Unit”.